You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
