It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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