I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
