Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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