we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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