Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
