It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
