pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
