Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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