if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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