you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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