so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
