I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
