Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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