With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize