Rock
Scissors
Fuck
operation have a gay friend backfired
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
