it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
