I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
