He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize