dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize