I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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