so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
