You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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