So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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