You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
