i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
