when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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