I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
