She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
