Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
