You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
