i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
