I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
