So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize