so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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