Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
