Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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