You're so nebulous sometimes
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
