I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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