Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
