Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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