Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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