we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
