Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
