Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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