I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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