This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
