But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
