i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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