Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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