i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
