No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
