I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
