It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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