This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
