yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
