He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
