How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
