NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
