she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
