Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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