i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
