You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
